If you were given five minutes to speak to a group of female teenager inmates — five minutes, to give them a piece of information compelling enough, that it could transform the perception of their life in that instant! What would you tell them?
What is it that could really motivate them to realize their potential? Knowledge! The knowledge of Human behavior, self-knowledge, empowerment and understanding mind over matter... communicated in a layman's words.
A misunderstood and ingrained belief these young girls have, among other ones, is the belief that chances for them to live a "normal life," to experience a safe relationship, and be respected are rather slim or non-existent because of their genes. They believe that the fate of their life —past, present and future— is directly connected to the genetic makeup of their biological parents. In their world, they think they are predetermined to follow the footsteps of their dysfunctional biological parents, and they are afraid of it. Even if they deny it.
"Everything you want is on the other side of FEAR"
Teen female inmates and young female adults who grew up in a "city street” type of environment, are too often reminded, that their genes are responsible for their attitude, their perceptions, emotional reactions, and that nothing good will ever come out of them. These environments condition them to believe this, for what they see and hear is what they believe. The lack of access to knowledge is keeping them trapped in a limited reality.
In a recent article I wrote on Genes vs Environment, I referred to a published research in cellular biology. It confirms that 95% of the population is born with perfect genes (DNA), while less than 5% of the population is born with a genetic defect. Common genetic disorders in less than this 5% are of the likes of down syndrome, color blindness, autism, cystic fibrosis, only to name a few. In the light of this research, therefore, the genetic makeup has nothing to do with their behavior.
Contrary to the common belief, in this day and age of high-speed access to information, internet, and computer technology, female teen inmates are much more capable of understanding and assimilating teachings on human behavior, the power of thoughts over matter, or the biology of new perceptions than we give them credit for. This is a topic that would stimulate their curiosity and engage them; catch their attention.
This generation whether inmates or not has a much higher level of awareness and capacity to understand more sophisticated information. They are way underestimated on that level. Their sense to intuit is keen. This is a skill that is enhanced under survival conditions. They can read people well enough, and these "bearings" are spinning all the time. They only know this "dark" side of them, I think it's time to lift some myths, and provide them a much deeper level of information on the human aspect of life. Will it save them? That's their job.
If I were given these five minutes, this is the piece of information — from my perspective — I would choose to give them.
"The genes of their biological parents have absolutely no impact or influence over them, over their behavior, choices, or the life they live or dream of living. It never had. The type of environment they are surrounded by and their understanding of it will pull the strings of their life, just like a puppet. With knowledge and understanding of it, their mindset can be transformed, no matter of how desolate this environment looks or feels to them; this too will change."
The power to trigger a change in their perception rests in their understanding of the "why and how" their genetic makeup has no power in determining their destiny.
During my teen years up to my late 20s, I was often reminded of my "bad" genes, and that nothing would ever come out of my life. Inspiring, isn't it? I believed it and was silently concerned about it. "Silence" ... the favorite mode of communication of teen inmates or dysfunctional par excellence! I can relate to that style too. Looking back, I do laugh about it now.
Reminder for my readers: I have never been in jail or incarcerated in a prison. Nevertheless, it was all around me, people I hang around with, and too close for my safety. I was trapped in my own "prisons" and this was not because of missing school, it was a lack of an essential knowledge that will make you rise above the "dirt" and shine.
Words like "No surprise there, it's in the genes of her family; like mother, like daughter," and all the different versions of it, version we hear straight from the mouth of our family members, neighbors, best friends, strangers, and teachers — whenever it is we remember we still go to school. Who can be more convincing than our parents on the topic of their genes? Our parents, after all, it's their genes. So, we believed it, we don't like to hear it, but we believe it.
Two years ago I was interviewed by the Chaplain of a city jail. There was a genuine interest in the spiritual aspect of the programs I had to offer to their teen female inmates. Their interest was in the progressive integration of a life-coaching spiritual program. I was to work under the supervision of the Chaplain.
Before my interview, I was required to join a group and attend a class called "Fundamentals of Working in a Jail" which was given on site. Thinking about it, in retrospect, I am wondering if this might be a test before the interview to see if I would change my mind. No, seriously, I was just playing funny. It was not the case at all.
This was a very interesting class I will not forget, and would take it again anytime.
As a group, we had the opportunity to walk into a young female class in process. As I observed their facial expression, body language, and the inner silence of their repressed bitterness and anger, I understood their lack of interest. A mirror reflecting the loss of a sense of hope, the conviction of being a misfit, an outlaw. A mirror reflecting back to me a past long gone, where I was also lost between "I'm not good enough" and "I know I'm right."
In this moment, I came to realize that, where I stood, was the perfect environment where the knowledge I had gained from studying, learning, and implementing life transformation strategies and principles for more than 20 years, would best serve. This could trigger a change in people who would really benefit from it.
These "sweet and bitter" girls brought a "smile to my eyes." The memory of my own emotional struggles, temper tantrums, self-righteousness, fears, and drop the kitchen sink in it, played like an old black and white movie no longer real, understood, and integrated.
Talk about holding a Degree in Stubbornness and Grudge and under these living conditions. However, on the other side of this reactive attitude hide gifts that would serve them to climb the ladder of a fulfilling life. Again, not to repeat myself, with the exception of never being incarcerated, the emotional turmoil of these young girls, the neglect, isolation, and the anger inflamed and magnified from the challenging surviving conditions have been mine too. Only the story and names were different.
The outcome of life transforming knowledge and its implementation provided me a new life that I never thought was possible. As my perceptions changed, my environment changed with them. My Faith was rekindled, empowered and strengthened to a level that It's interaction could not be denied.
Knowledge has the power to ignite the will power we need to take an action. It can rehash our personal convictions and views leading us into a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
We remember that as a life coach, life transformer, public speaker, teacher, or simply communicator, it's not necessary that what is said will make a difference, but how we say it.
There are times in our life when we will read, hear, or have this insight that will turn our life around. It awakens a willpower that pulls us into the next chapter of our life.
What deeply inspired me to write this article is the published research on my topic by Dr. Bruce Lipton, leading authority in cellular biology. This "revelation" awakened the belief that I could be more and aim higher that what I thought of myself. As I read his material on genes vs environment, the teenager female inmates came to my mind. I knew this information would best serve them. When you understand that there is nothing in your blood that was transferred by your parents causing all the pain and trouble, it will lift some fears of being doomed for less than you deserve.
Seriously, imagine a 17 year old female going home every day to a mother who served time and a father drunk half the time. She believes the fate of her future is completely at the mercy of her genes, and she believes it. As the saying goes, "If you believe in something to be true, feel it, and act like it ... you got it." Yes, there are a lot more things to tell them besides the gene issue, however, this is where to start before anything else. Because no matter what you want to teach them, if they believed they are doomed by their genes, what could inspire them to listen and to aim higher?
It would be interesting to see the results of a survey presented to them including questions on this topic. This belief they have contributes in reinforcing their low self-confidence and self-esteem. Did I miss lying and manipulating as defense mechanisms?
There is a real potential in each one of them calling to be expressed. There is also a constant inner struggle between what they believe they are, and what their future might hold for them. There is no question how beneficial this information would be for them.
The best place to provide them with this information would be inside a structured environment where they feel safe. Therefore, while they are in jail or in prison. I would relish the opportunity to work alongside a group of them. In me, is a version of their life from a past long gone. This version, not to be negated, is now part of my book of wisdom, always ready to be contributed in an empowering style of communication, that could impact somebody’s life.
A few pointers to share with you before closing on my article. If we stop to think about it, our teenager female inmates live in three prisons.
Why not providing them with knowledge that has a strong potential to change their thinking, their perception, in a way that, they can now "think" their way to a meaningful lifestyle?
The way I see it, if we don't believe this knowledge could have the potential to impact their lives, to change their perception, then, we gave up on our teen female inmates.
At the end of the day, when the sun goes down, they don't need more mathematics, more English grammar, or geography than what is required at their age. It's time for a program that will teach and expose them to the power of thoughts, affirmative prayers, the body biology of perception and change. A program inspiring them to begin a quest that will guide them to their full latent potential.
I invite you to watch this video, read this article again, and share your thoughts with me.
"Knowledge is power and self-knowledge is more power for the self."
How many times have we blamed bad genes for rebellious and lazy teens, or accomplished troublemakers pressing all your buttons? The answer is: too many times. As it stands, too many people are still using the "bad genes" excuse, par excellence, to justify their bad behavior, laziness, or attitude.
Remember the Human Genome Project in the 90's which mapped our genes from a physical and functional standpoint? The part where they talk about our life being determined by our genes, feel free to give this a big pitch, et voilà!
Have you ever come across a piece of information that changed your life, in such a way, as to turn it around 90 degrees? I have.
The impact was such; I was back to the "drawing board" of my life, redefining old conditioned beliefs and perceptions, that could have held me back from expressing my full potential. Fear of the unknown will do that to you too.
The cat is finally out of the bag. Actually, the cat it's been out for a long time...1984.
Genes never had anything to do with pre-determining our behavior or our life. In his article, The Wisdom of Your Cells, Dr. Bruce Lipton, internationally recognized leader in cellular biology explains in laymen's terms the process of how he made this discovery. Dr. Lipton's research showed that less than 5% of the population will be born with a gene defect, whilst 95% will be born with perfect DNA.
I have followed and studied Dr. Lipton's work from the day I read his article. I had, more than once, been concerned with the gene inheritance. My behavior, my choices, and my fate were not at the mercy of some double-helix. I had control over my life.
This information opens the door to an array of possibilities and opportunities. That, my friends, is a significant life changer for many people interested in this topic. It brings hope to our female teens and young female adults who grew up by the side of conscious irresponsible parents, and surrounded by a challenging landscapes.
Each and every cell of our body receives its respective information from the perceptions and beliefs we create from the environment we live in. Our health, behavior, and quality of life are controlled by cells receiving its information from the environment. What is the role of our DNA or its copy RNA? Think of it as a replacing part store. Remember, less than 5% of the population is born with a genetic defect, and 95% have perfect genes.
I almost forgot the most important part! You Are a Community of 50 Trillion Living Cells. From head to toe each human being is a community of 50 Trillion cells.
The truth is ... that our beliefs and perceptions of our environment are responsible for the health of our cells and our behavior.
"The belief and perception of the environment control your biology." ~ Dr. Bruce Lipton
I was this female teen surrounded by a conscious irresponsible mother. We all live like room mates in there. Abandoned, neglected, not rejected, but border line to it. My instincts were my barometer to go through life day in and day out. No mentor, no one I could look up to. I had a key to go our apartment, eat what was available, change my clothes, do homework, and sleep (but sometimes not even that).
At the time, I was seriously wondering about this "you have my genes" my mother would so proudly say to me. That didn't sit too well with me! I thought that my future life would mirror how I was living it now in the style of environment I was surrounded by. She would say it often. Well, thanks for the warning!
My life took a 90% turn after reading Dr. Lipton's information. I believed him, and that caused something inside of me to shift. Imagine what it did to me, and what it could do to people in a state of receptivity.
It is important to make this information accessible to troubled teens and young adults female, whose upbringing was next to irresponsible foster or biological parent(s) .
For people who still believe they have no chance for success in life, and are doomed to end up like their parents because they have their parents "bad genes." Quite frankly, are we going to wait for science with a double blind "bullet proof" study before we wake up and start redefining our life, becoming an asset for us, and for others?
Yes, it may be impossible to physically removed teenagers and young adult female from a toxic environment. In this case, why not providing them with information that will make them feel that yes, they do matter, and they can make a difference in people's life.
Next week, I will write about an experience I had while I was interviewed in a city jail to teach one of my programs to teen and young adult female inmates. I will also share about my copywriter/editor who just turned 17 and living with her foster parents.
I leave you with a reminder for all of us...
It is our beliefs and perceptions of the environment that is responsible for our biology, for our health and behavior. It is the environment that affects our cells and not our genes affecting the environment. Each one of us is a community of 50 Trillions cells.
For our longevity in body, mind, and spirit, it's worth giving this information serious thoughts.
When I left the survival environment where I lived and grew up for 20 years, I thought I was free. Far from me, did I know, how my relationships would be affected by repetitive patterns of behavior. After all, "we", were nothing like "them", right? Well, yes and no. Yep..free as far as the environment was concerned. However, rest assured the impact stayed with me, dictating its will and showing its ugly face, and I lived my life from reaction to reaction day in and day out. Sounds familiar? How can we stop this impostor from ruining the relationships in our lives and everything else in between?
Join me on my blog, we'll get to the bottom of this topic. First off, the mere fact of talking about it will begin to transform your life.
First off, I'm not writing this article as a fan of Nirvana or Kurt Cobain. In all honesty, I've never been or seen one of their concerts.
I was surfing on YouTube recently and stumbled on one of those songs “à la Janis Joplin style. It was raw; struggles and pain were weaved in its very fabric. I had no idea whose voice was behind that song, but I knew one thing: there was more to it than the ear could hear. It was visceral and it struck a chord in me. I was on my way to discover an important missing link. And yes, knowledge is power.
The message transcending the lyrics was a scream for relief. This voice is the voice of Kurt Cobain. The song, “Smells Like A Teens.”
I watched a two-hour HBO documentary film on the life of Kurt Cobain a few days ago, "Montage of Hec". I was riveted to my seat, eyes glued to the TV screen. And there it was, unfolding right in front of my eyes, the carbon copy of my own intense restlessness and “hyperness"—my encounter with ADHD during childhood, teens, and adulthood. A condition completely unchecked and undiagnosed that would steal my peace of mind and getting worse over the years. I was a singer in my childhood and pretty good at it too. If destiny had turned it into a career, it would have burned me out, sucking the life-force out of me one bit at a time.
The documentary of Kurt Cobain’s life was no less than a revelation. I caught and understood what was really creating my own struggles, my torments, the constant nausea, these vomiting episodes showing their face at 10 at night to leave me at the early hours in the morning, not to mention the awful stomach acidity and cramps.
In front of me was a real life example of how this neurological disorder is not to be taken lightly, but seriously. If left untreated and unaddressed, the consequences can be devastating and life threatening. It will eat you alive. Period. I got that message loud and clear. There are many high profile celebrities diagnosed with this condition—it’s not all nightmares—but the key here is that they know what's going and it never held them back from realizing their dream.
My moment of truth came when I heard Kurt Cobain talking about the constant stomach pain, nausea, and cramps. For years I dealt with that. How many time had I walked in an emergency clinic and have them X-ray my stomach because of painful cramps and burning sensations in my stomach?
Too many to count. By the time I was 20, I had a collection of emergency clinic cards in my wallet. My body was a stomach acid-producing machine. And, like the good flaming ADHD that I was, everything always had to be thought, said, and done with intensity, being tenacious with lots of efforts to keep my focus Later, the practice of meditation immensely help me to regroup my thoughts and hold my focus. I loved retrieving into meditation, it was my little haven.
I was diagnosed ADHD 7 years ago, not at the age of 7, but seven years ago. They were surprised to hear I had never been diagnosed with this condition before. Well, me too. It was pretty obvious to me. In all truth, more obvious than that, you would have glued me to a chair. Now and then, when I was overworked, the doctor would treat me for anxiety, one of the first symptoms underlying ADHD.
How about depression? ADHD people don't do depression per se. ADHD people will hit a state of depression from the constant struggling with or fighting against ADHD symptoms, and from many questions unanswered. Personally, depression was not my thing. I dugged for information, eventually got deeper into it, and learn from it. I also was too busy and on the look out for new challenging adventures, busy thinking of what next I could discover that would exalt me to new level of excitement! Nuclear energy at its best!
I was a happy little girl, loving, playful with a higher than average level of energy. In other words, I was a hand full. You could not hold me down for nothing. By the time I hit my teens, I had become an angry little pest, miserable with my body feeling as if it was constantly wired to a 6,000 volt outlet. A little smart Alec teenager, opinionated, arrogant, and yes... those nausea and cramping episodes causing a lot of anxiety in me.
The story of Kurt Cobain's life opened my eyes to this unquenchable thirst for learning, creating, new endeavors, new things to explore, defining the very essence of ADHDers like us. We get bored easily. Expose us to whitewater rafting, kayaking, rock climbing or something of the likes to release the tension accumulated during the day. We need a space where we can solve something, creating and self-expressing who we are using any art form you can think of! Oh, and that, all at the same time, please! (wink)
You can compare our ADHD mind with a computer loaded with an unlimited number of Gigs and a highly sophisticated processor moving at the speed of light processing a zillion of data all at once. We never have enough data in there. Any form of science, zoology, new discoveries, anything where life is growing in there, and art are relished. Nature is our haven where connect with our inner Nirvana. Water is definitively the best element of nature ADHD people need to be surrounded by.
Kurt Cobain was gifted. He was a singer, songwriter, composer, and a perfectionist. There was nothing wrong with the career he chose. What killed him was a severe case of ADHD left undiagnosed with symptoms aggravated by the lifestyle of his career and the demands of stardom, which he had reached with flying stars.
Think of a wound growing bigger and bigger from constantly being rubbed day in and day out with sand paper day in and day out 24/7. Hurts, right? This film showed me how my own ADHD had being aggravated and rubbed too.
This film woke me up to a whole new level. When ADHD is left undiagnosed and unattended, especially with a career of this nature, something will have to give in along the way.
I was taken by what I was seeing, my mind revisiting the "highlights" of my past with the exception of heroin. I was suffering with him in this film. Not as a fan, but as someone who lived on the edge all the time with way too much energy.
Little did I know, that my years competing as a bodybuilder were contributing in lifting my ADHD symptoms. Little did I know, I was working out at the intensity I needed to release all this energy, I was challenged from competing, my diet was under control, and I had a goal to reach. I can see it now. I saw it through this film.
Anger, temper tantrum, arrogance are channels ADHDers will use to release their building frustration if they have nothing else to unload that with. I was an authentic little monkey too, self-raised, and left to my own devices. Healing began in my 20s once I left the damaging environment I was surrounded by.
Although tantrums followed me for many years, the more pieces of information I got on the bigger picture of my condition, the more tantrums and anxiety were fading away making space to see skills that takes people to a high level of success.
Any comments so far?
This piece is intended for parents raising a teenager with ADHD. Our restlessness comes from a thirst for solving something, building something, discovering, learning, or creating.
The issue is that we don't know it. Unless your hear it from someone or read about it, it takes years to realize this. You're raising an ADHD teen?
Chances are you have a creating little machine in your house, dressing very different, sometimes shocking to the eye, a teen looking like The Prince of Goth expressing a statement of being ... how should I put this, screamingly out-of-the-box. Electronic devices aggravates our symptoms, and our patience!
Our mind needs to be engaged in what is exciting to us. School is a challenge with too many boring topics for us and too often judge by the teachers. and too slow. We get a case of the "pen-tapping" in classrooms. How about Xsports to release energy? Whitewater kayaking an excellent sport. It combines the element of water, excitement, and nature. Nothing namby-pamby for us please. Rock climbing is another excellent choice!
What to do? Put some skin in it. Add an element of nature (earth, wind, water, and no fire please) to combine with a sport. Zip-line, canoeing-camping weekend, mountain biking. Anything sounding mystical is usually of great interest for us, yoga and meditations retreats. Water is by far one of the best element for us.
We love animals for there we find unconditional love. Soak your ADHD with some of these great "energy-releasers", and please get him thoroughly by competent professionals. I would highly recommend taking him to one of Dr. Daniel Amen's Clinics where he or she will be thoroughly evaluated and diagnosed.
They have the state-of-the-art approach to diagnose and treat mental health conditions, including diet, supplements if needed, and the latest information on this topic. This is not a new agee, fortune-teller clinic. ADD and ADHD is one of their expertise, and they got it down to a "T." This is where I was diagnosed 7 years ago.
I got to the bottom of it. I was not going to be evaluated by someone who would do it in 20 minutes. I wanted thorough evaluation, solid expertise, and answers to my questions. So I got, and beyond my expectation! Praise God! The first thing I said after being diagnosed was "See, I knew it!" Just that was a relief of itself! (wink)
Get involved in some of these activities; they're all good for you anyway. Get your kids to do his own research online on his condition. He or she has to understand it through and through.
Aren’t we wonder-full or what? Once on top of our game with the knowledge and understanding of ADHD, hey, we are just awesome! Again, our brain and body have thrive in being challenged using creative, sports, and nature.
With the chemistry of our brain Only then we can start making decisions and choices in the style of a normal human being. We don’t need to be entertained; actually, we prefer to be busy in our head thinking of our next creation. We want intellectual challenge and sports to release the steam.
A few words about sleep. Most people with ADHD need a lot of sleep and it's not because they go to bed late, even though they do. If you want to know why, please send me an email about it. It will all make sense.
Let’s use the example of when we email someone. We barely have time to enter the two first letters that the whole name appears! This gives you an idea on how fast an ADHD brain can work. This example was used to explain how my brain worked by an attorney I was working with as a paralegal. Unaware, I was working in an environment where some of my ADHD symptoms were skills needed for the type of work I did. My condition required a high level of organization to keep me focused, and that was highly appreciated too. I never felt intimidated from asking too many questions if I wasn't clear with something, and this is something we have to live with. Law firm is an environment where the demands are high and the competition ferocious. There are many very successful attorneys with ADHD. It's no walk in the park, however once on top of our game, we are efficient, get things done, and will reach our goal.
Kurt Cobain's life story was a cry for help, for release. He was a voice for those with similar symptoms, repressed anger and denial raging in their guts. His story is a warning as to how far ADHD, if left untreated, can take us. Not everybody will commit suicide, however, with the right mix, it can get you there.
People will say things like this,
“Kurt Cobain was a heroin addict, a drugee, a he liked taking heroin.”
He was self-medicating himself and hated having to take it. His lifestyle had aggravated his symptoms, tormenting him 24/7 to a point where the pain of the symptoms was taking joy, happiness, peace, and life force out of him, and nobody can tolerate such a level of pain for years. It doesn't excuse his drug abuse, it makes us look at it from another perspective.
“What makes you say that?"
Heroin is a derivative of morphine, just like acceleration is a derivative of velocity. Morphine is given to people in an advanced stage of pain or in the process of dying. Morphine blocks pain and induces a state a euphoria (joy and happiness.) Heroin blocked Kurt Cobain's pain for a while, however, I would think the symptoms of withdrawal were as bad as the pain he experienced. Heroin is a narcotic, of course he ended up addicted to it. Kurt Cobain was dying in front of his fans from taking too much morphine to block the pain caused by ADHD symptoms severely aggravated by the demand of stardom.
Knowledge and a better understanding of his ADHD would have increase awareness in Kurt Cobain. There is a hidden power behind knowledge, and it's called "Power." Self-knowledge is self-empowerment. Kurt Cobain was an intelligent guy. With that in mind―maybe, just maybe― we would still be enjoying Kurt Cobain’s music today. In his own words in "Montage of Hec" says that his fear was that if he got clean, he may lose his edge, affect his creativity. He thought that without feeling the pain in his stomach, the songs would lose their intensity. Can you feel the turmoil?
People with ADHD know that our edge is something we never lose. We learn how to work with it, and make it work for us. This film left me with a deeper level of understanding that I already had of ADHD. I also realized the need for reading testimonial of people diagnosed with this condition and living a "normal" and successful life. What have they realized over the years? I know from my personal experience of 57 years of living with this condition that when the symptoms are under control, they become strong assets of people who live a highly successful life. Take a look for yourself. I am not saying that it would have solved everything, but at least, he would have had a better chance.
Approximately 11% of children 4-17 years of age (6.4 million) have been diagnosed with ADHD as of 2011 and the number keeps increasing. It is crucial to get a better understanding of how to better interact and what the needs are for people like Kurt Cobain and people like us.
Now, with all this information in mind, have a look at this song on YouTube, "Smells Like A Teen" Listen to the 15 last seconds of it. You’ll never hear this song in the same way again.
I will never forget this documentary, and I am so grateful for it.
If your child fits in this category, you’ll be very interested in this article and I recommend you read it in its entirety.
Here's a tip: Keep Them Busy Until They Fall From Exhaustion !
In this day and age of search engine and internet information comes you can educate yourself from all the information available on the internet. Seek, find, learn, and get on top. You can, and quite frankly, it's very interesting. Get savvy. Count your blessings, it could be worst. It is no fiction that diet plays a key role in keeping our symptoms at bay. Sugar in all its form is a stimulant. Exercise your best judgment. A diet high in sugar will release in your bloodstream chemical that will aggravate your symptoms, and that is a fact. You want to search and grab all the information you can get on how food affects the chemistry in your blood. You'll love this topic. The more you know on the interaction between food and ADHD, the less you'll be held captive by these symptoms. We don't like to be held captive. We like freedom and fresh air.
With all due respect for doing what you want to do with your personal time, please refrain from joining these ADHD groups or forums that leads nowhere other than playing useless, time-wasting, second grader games. I have joined a few of them to explore it. Trust me on this. You join and end up with 155 emails per day in your inbox. Most conversations are about moaning, groaning, or playing little children obsessive games.
ADHD can be totally cool, fun, and interesting. We are great lovers of nature. Laughter is a powerful medicine for us, and we love that too.
It’s up to us to keep it this way,
Let Go of Toxic People And Relationships
Transform Your Life By Design
Script Your Way Out
#KurtCobain, #SmellsLikeATeen, #AdultADHD, #TeenADHD, #GrungeBandNirvana, #MontageFromHec, #ADHDStatistics #MontageFromHecDocumentary #KurtCobainMontageFromHec
When we "leave our past behind" and what's made of, its shadow will rear its ugly head in places — uninvited!
Really? I disagree.
I wish people would quit repeating, posting, and re-posting these meaningless quotes about "Leave The Past Behind" They mislead people from a reality that is quite different.
The truth is, left ignored ... this "past left behind" will take the driver's seat of your life, and take you on roller coaster ride in your relationships.
"The past is the past," is something our parents would tell us to deflect the conversation.
I do admit it, I said it too. We all said it. My mother would pull the "brush it off" move and reply with"this" tone, "we made it, you'll make it too." So, what was there to worry about, right? For the records, she never "made it" in the sense that there were a lot of collateral damage as a result of her own "Past left behind" belief."
Left unattended, our past will play and replay in the back scenes of our life.
I invite you to WATCH THIS VIDEO FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THIS TOPIC!
Here's a good analogy. Imagine a puppet attached to the strings of a challenging past. The puppet is you or me. What controls and animates the puppet? Sure thing, the strings of our rather unchecked emotions. You get the picture?
Here's my second analogy for you today. Imagine a turntable (mind) playing a 45 rpm record (memories). The record's title: "My Past Denied and Repressed." As the record plays and reaches its end, the arm lifts and returns to the beginning of the record. It replays over, and over, and over again.
This record will replay itself until we lift this arm off that record. These upsetting memories, the ones we remember, only exists on the record playing in our mind. They are no longer real in our present moment. And, for the record, not every upsetting memories remains in the subconscious. Are we getting somewhere with this?
Hidden behind "The past will take care of itself" and the like, is denial, fear and protection. Let's get real, nobody can leave their past behind, no matter how hard we try or how many times we say it.
We simply don't escape it. Note to self: the processes that created these memories were intended for our protection. Therefore, there is nothing to be worried about here, the alarm system can be disengaged. What we learned from a turbulent past can be unlearned. We simply need to be aware of this. Let's have a quick look at how it takes form.
Challenging events from our upbringing, the impact of alcoholic parents, the neglect, the anger and resentment — just to name a few — leave us with a baggage of defensive reactions that will be triggered in places you would rather not, i.e. your boss's office, a family party, or in a restaurant, or worst, in a funeral service... or the at classic wedding reception. All of the above is what drama is made of.
If you're done with the drama, the confrontation, the replaying of these bouts of tantrums, and falling in the trap of engaging in the drama, I have listed below, for those ready for action, a few basic steps to follow.
Here's a map.
First step: Acknowledge | Second step: Knowledge-learning | Third step: Understanding of the knowledge | Fourth step: Implementation of knowledge | Fifth steps: Seek and create an experience | Sixth and last step: Repeat steps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 until you master this part of your life! Until you're getting real good at not engaging in drama.
The step-map listed above is not a one time "go around the steps" and then it's done. It's a journey for your new way of life. Your journey into a process that will empower you, and raise the standards of your life. Don't go for this either..."As we get older, we get wiser, it will take care of itself." No. You will get bitter and more resentful. That too is a myth.
"You can break yourself free from hereditary patterns, street culture environment; and prove once and for all that the power within you is greater than the power around you." ~ Michael Beckwith
Any thoughts? Let me hear back from you. Do you resonate with some of this? Ask questions if you feel so incline!
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